Friday, June 26

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking


Can you believe we quietly approached Mile Marker 10 and I believe we are picking up momentum.

After a long day of waiting, Deano's transfer from Kindred to Long Beach Memorial was a success and he seemed to tolerate the ambulance drive very well.

Our departure from Kindred was definitely bittersweet. There were some, on staff, that touched my heart. There was also the convenience and being able to see Dean during lunch and after work. Because of the distance it just may work out that I now only see him on the weekends. Some think that may very well be a good thing. May make Dean want to work harder. There was another aspect of the departure that I also had to come to terms with. When we were transferred to Kindred there was a sense by me that we had no choice and I know there is always choice. We were given, probably, a 2 hour window to be transferred from UCLA to Kindred. And I believe that made it very easy for me to forget to honor the next step of Deano's journey. The difference now is that I was given time to discuss the discharge from Kindred and to make a decision on the next facility. And it was ultimately, as it was before, my decision on where we would travel next. I toured Long Beach Memorial and made a decision for the transfer. The decision was based on several things, not one of which was the distance. I based it on the look of the facility, my understanding of their program for rehabilitation, the kindness of the case worker on the phone and the social worker that provided me with the tour and their philosophy to have patients out of bed as much as possible. I don't like to be wrong (and I have to say again, for those of you who know me - you know that to be true) and in this circumstance I feel like I cannot be wrong because Deano's well being depends upon it.

Deano's first day at LBM and his schedule consisted of: a) bathing himself in the morning, b) dressing himself (that is right, clothes that do not consist of a hospital gown but of his own tennis shoes, socks, T-Shirt (you were expecting a button down) and c) hospital provided draw string pants (because I do not have a pair that fit him and he had to be ready to go by 9:00 am.

9:00 am Occupational Therapy
11:00 am Speech Therapy which consisted of food trials (applesauce, water & nectar)
1:00 pm Speech Therapy for swallowing and speaking
2:00 pm Physical Therapy

And at 4pm in the social room will be music therapy (optional).

Dean said he didn't sleep well last night and I think he just might sleep like a happy dog after chasing his tail tonight.

When visiting Deano and you don't find him in his room there is a BIG board in front of the nurses station and it is a schedule of each patients activities for the day. Just look up the room no. and it will tell you exactly where he is. It is their philosophy to have patients out of bed as much as possible so they do have a wheel chair in the room for Dean and they do encourage friends and family to take him out. There is a court yard and a family visiting area with a huge flat screen and computers. You just need to check with the nurse and let her know and also have her or him help you with getting Deano in and out of bed.

If you were wondering why I do not have pants that fit Deano, wonder no more. It is official he has lost apprx. 45 lbs. (shit is that all you ever had to do to drop that kinda weight - you think someone would have shared this info with me long ago).

After talking with the Social worker at LBM they try and have patients home within two weeks. Can you even believe that time frame. Well I cannot and to be honest, kinda took my breath away. First of all, he will require in home care, which I learned today, is not covered by insurance (I will have a sign up sheet at my front door for volunteers). The other thing that has me nervous (just one thing; I don't think so - for there are so many things) is our home may need to be retrofitted to accommodate Deano's needs (I am thinking we aren't going to fit here anymore (Grandma May, get ready us California Nambas are going to become Washington Nambas).

Deano's new attending physicians are still evaluating him and the Social worker thinks by next week they will have a more clear picture of the length of time Dean will be visiting LBM.

The Dr.'s are currently contemplating two new medications: Sinemet, which is used on Parkinsons Patients, and has been found to stimulate language in brain injury patients. Ritain, which is used for children with ADD, has been found to stimulate movement in patients with brain injury. The use of these two medications are optional and would be on a short term basis. With the Sinemet the time frame would be 3 months and if the patient is responding well then after 3 months they would start the weaning process and after cutting back and the language is still present they can then determine it was not the drug that stimulated the language and continue to wean. The Ritalin is known to cause agitation and insomnia in brain injury patients and if that is the reaction then it would be immediately omitted. So this is a decision for Deano on whether or not to start this type of therapy (Did I say Dean).

Oh, in Deans room right below his T.V. is another board and that too will display his schedule for the day.

I think that will do it for today.


I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on


Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
(from the mouth of a 16 year old - you think she knows something I don't. Or maybe I just need to try and be 16 again).

P.S. Nice hearing from you Ricky and thanks it is good to know someone is paying attention.

P.S.S. Thanks Grandma Jo and Mom and May - where would we be without you.