Wednesday, August 12

My gosh how time flies when you are in the middle of falling apart.

Some bloggers have reminded me how long it has been since last we communicated (I guess this is a form of communication. Don't you think?).

First let me start with the excuse for why I have been away so long. See we have two computers at home and neither one of them seems to be working. (Although since I am blogging right at the moment it would appear that I got the laptop to cooperate). The home computer, if I had to guess and since Dean is really not feeling like working on my issues right now so I do have to guess. Anyway, my guess would be we need a new hard drive. And I am guessing that because we have 4 mice (they would be mice right? and not mouses?) and not one of the damn mice/mouses wants to do its job. So that is my excuse.

Many of you probably know that Deano is now home and has been since July 30, 2009.

Dean being home certainly has brought with it some challenges.

For instance, continued therapy was supposed to have been set up upon Dean's discharge from the hospital and now we are going on 2 weeks at home and rehab therapy has just started. Now I am not a therapist nor am I a nurse and there have been so many times that I have felt that I am doing a terrible disservice to Deano. Example, I had no idea that Deano was ready to actually lift his right leg while in his walker rather than slide. So after the first visit from the physical therapist Deano is now practicing what we like to call "Lift and Lock", which means the lifting of his right leg and locking his knee to support the walking motion.

Deano has also learned some new arm lessons from the occupational therapist.

I do have to admit to you all out there: There was truly something special about the staff at Long Beach Memorial. There techniques just seem superior.

Riley and I are certainly trying new ways to incorporate Dean back into life at home, taking into consideration his new abilities. Deano has been outside watering and using the vacuum cleaner quite nicely.

Suffice to say we have crossed the line of the first Marathon our family has run together. Deano is healthy and at home. So now we embark on a new race and as I suspected probably more difficult than the one we just completed. This one brings with it challenges that I not only could not have anticipated/ I could not have trained and prepared in anyway (well that may be debatable and for now lets just say I am correct).

See through out this journey I have seriously contemplated our wedding vows, more specifically that part that says "In sickness and in health". I really believed that if my spouse got the flu or a cold I would take him chicken soup and aspirin in bed. Never once when I spoke those vows did I dream it would be a stroke and that I would temporarily stop working to become a full time nurse and therapist. See, in my opinion anyway, when you are those roles it doesn't allow for other things in a marriage, like being a woman or a mom or a wife.

I truly believed when we got Dean home I would no longer have to worry about his well being and now I am solely responsible for his well being. And I learned that weighs a whole lot. Now I worry more than ever. Is the food he can eat going down the wrong pipe and is it building up in his lungs and creating an infection, do we need to rush to emergency. You name it; it is on my mind.

And though Riley knows that his dad is home, it really isn't his dad, at least not how he was when he dropped Riley off at school on Friday morning, April 3. And the relationship is not the same. Riley is definitely testing the waters where Dean is concerned. I guess the two of them will have to figure that out. (And you wouldn't even believe as I am typing the computer just goes blank and I am lucky nothing got erased). Maybe a sign I should stop now.



Lets not let so much time pass between updates.



P.S. Ricky I couldn't have said it better myself.
P.S.S. Bob and Laura thank you again for the beautiful basket of goodies.
P.S.S.S. This has taken me two days to post so I guess I better just post and hope for the best
P.S.S.S.S. On Monday, August 17, Rehab without wall will finally begin and we do have a busy week next week. Keep sending the love and prayers. Miracles happen everyday.